


Memory

by RoseyStarlight



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Attempt at Humor, Chronic Pain, F/F, F/M, False Memories, Fright zone, Hordak is baby, Horde Prime - Freeform, Humor, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Character Tags to be Added - Freeform, Past Abuse, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Spoilers for Season 3, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Amnesia, Time Skips, War, scorpia is the best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-09-25 01:15:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20368219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseyStarlight/pseuds/RoseyStarlight
Summary: Hordak is the leader of the Horde, and his plan to dominate Etheria is going successfully. So successfully, in fact, one might say that it is going along perfectly. Though there is something missing, something not quite right in this world, and as much as he wants to conquer it, it might be Etheria that ends up conquering him. With every second counting, will he have enough time?





	1. Turn Your Face to the Moonlight

Yet another threatening storm approaches from the east, and swirls throughout the dark expanse of The Fright Zone. The high reaching parapets seem to disappear in the low hanging clouds, and silent lighting permeates the shadows. The constant chug of machinery is the only thing to displace the restless silence, and as the sound dimly continues, the first lighting strikes. Within Hordak’s inner sanctum the rumble of thunder is heard above him, and he looks away from the tablet he was reading.

  
Another storm approaches, he thought, and he let out a heavy sigh, seemingly trying to soak up the somber weather, before continuing his barren read. After every successful invasion he receives reports from the assembly of force captains under his command, and he analyzes them for inspection. So far, everything seems successful; in fact, there seems to be sustained gains in the growth of his army’s gross performance. He allows himself to relax in his seat after setting down the tablet on his personal side station. It automatically files the tablet along with the other’s he’s received today, resets it and sends it back to the force captain so that they can refill it with new information.

  
Usually such tasks would be up for Shadow Weaver to complete, but he needed to see the full set of data so that he could plan the next invasion. He just couldn’t get that level of detail from one summarized report. He hears the familiar flap of Imp go around him and the hint of a smile appears on his face, he scoots to the side of his throne allowing space for the little creature to land, and when he settles, he stares at Hordak with his distinct golden eyes. Hordak clears his throat and then begins to describe the reports.

  
“Everything is going along as planned, The Horde has gained ground towards Bright Moon, and data reflecting new recruits indicates that they are maintaining promising progress.”

  
Imp decides to crawl into his lap and Hordak openly smiles and scritches his favorite place under his chin and he continues, “Everything is going along perfectly.”

  
_ A flash._

  
_Imperfection is beautiful !_

  
And as that last word echoed, there seemed to be something familiar within its phonetics, but he was so startled that he couldn’t differentiate if it was his voice or someone else’s and regardless it made him sit up straight. The movement startled Imp and he crawled away from his lap before taking to the air. One of Hordak’s ears gave a visible twitch as he tried to listen for anything else and his hands harshly griped the rests on his throne. Though all he could hear was the flap of Imp’s wings and the faint undertone of rain on the roof. He shook his head and took a shaky breath with his eyes landing on the little creature, whom was casting him a curious glance from his place hovering above his line of sight. He did not look like he had seen anything worth mentioning and with that Hordak then allowed himself to look around the room, but of course there was no one there. Although in the back of his mind, for some reason, he actually had the feeling that someone was missing, which was unusual.

  
Nonetheless, he felt very uncomfortable. He stood slowly and was suddenly aware of the tenseness of his body and forced himself to relax. Even then, while just focusing on himself, he felt as if there was something missing too. Though he decided to think no more of it, chalking it up to the storm that was gathering outside. There was a strike of lightning, he reasoned, and it most likely hit one of the power stations causing a surge. Yes, yes that’s what it was, he thought, and turned to regard Imp once more and said,

“Remind me later to construct a lightning rod for the sanctum.” The little creature opened his mouth to record his request, and squawked his assent, then flopped from his flight to Hordak’s shoulder. It was probably the best that the surge happened now and not when he might’ve been working on something important in the lab. He thought to sit down once again and just wait for the last force captain to arrive with their report, but one of his windows caught the corner of his eye. He had calmed himself down so there really was no need, but it wouldn’t hurt to take a look outside.

  
As he walked to the darkened and hard to see window sill, he thought once more on the strange flash of light. When the surge happened, the light had almost a purplish hue to it, while the lights above his sanctum were almost pressingly bitter green. He thought about how quickly the lighting would have to strike the roof in order to cause such a reaction so deep in the structure, and also thought to add a converter to the lighting rod so that he could collect such power for his experiments, and he relayed this to Imp.

One of his ears once again twitched as he then focused on listening to the silence and then as it tuned to the slightly louder sound of falling rain. He relaxed where he stood, comforted by the sound. It felt like home, back in the recreated rain falls of horde prime. Those rooms were meant to simulate damp tropical climates where surfaces were harder to traverse. However, when his pain flared up, he would reserve a room for himself and would slip in and take off his armor, letting the torrent pour above him. The humidity and heat dulled away the pain for a moment and he would pretend to be another, better version of himself. He closed his eyes to remember the feeling. When he opened them, he found himself picking at the collar of his hood unconsciously and when he realized what he was doing he promptly stopped.

He then pulled open the curtain on the window. He only had two windows in the room, and he kept them both covered as to limit the light that entered, not that there would have been much to begin with. He propped open the window frame from the latch, and let his hand slip outside, cupping his hand to catch the drops.

  
He waited.

  
After a moment, he gripped the window and peered outside, and his eyes widened with confusion. There wasn’t a single drop of rain to be seen, or felt for that matter, which absolutely astounded him, since just a second ago he could distinctly hear the sound of rain. He knew the acid rain of The Fright Zone, and it never stopped so suddenly. His eyes drifted off into the distance.

  
So, if it wasn’t raining or storming, then what caused the power surge in the sanctum?

  
He was startled out of his thoughts by a knock at the door and a voice, “Lord Hordak?”

  
He turned away from the window with a grimace, “Yes? State your importance”

  
“Sir, its Force Captain Scorpia, with the Troop Status Report.”

  
Hordak let out an annoyed sigh and quickly closed and curtained the window before responding with a slight growl, “Come in but make it quick.”

  
As Scorpia entered the room she knew why she was there and the details of the report, but as her eyes met the glowing red of Hordak’s her mind blanked. Though this was a frequent occurrence and one she was used to, what happened next was distinctly not.

  
_ A flash_

  
_ You’re the only one I can trust around here._

  
It was like something hit her out of the blue, like that one time she was sent on a super important mission for The Horde, and she realized halfway there that she forgot to turn in another super important report. Except, she couldn’t really seem to know what she was forgetting. It was like something she should know, but she can’t think of it anymore, almost like déjà vu and this felt like something important! She took a moment to remember what it was but Hordak quickly interrupted her thoughts.

  
“Force captain!” he snapped, “Please disclose what you came here for.”

  
“Oh, right my bad Mr. Hordak sir.” She displayed the tablet she had in her hand which showcased her troops growth.

  
“Everything is going as planned sir, and the invasion of Thaymor was a complete success, everything is perfect.” Scorpia extended the tablet she had in her claws, but Hordak hesitated to reach it, before taking it away from her.

  
“Thank you force captain, you may return to your duties.” And with that the door promptly shut in her face.

  
Scorpia blinked before moving away and she swore she could hear the chittering from Hordak’s little winged monkey thing on the other side. She shivered and turned around to leave. Quick as lightning the same bright light filled her vision and she backed into the door harshly. She immediately drew her arms into her chest and reached up to cover her eyes with a gasp. When her vision returned, she was blinking madly and rubbing her eyes.

  
_Where is it!? Can I see it !? Can I touch it !??!_

  
_ This is just an illustration_

  
_ What will actually happen will be much worse._

  
_What_ was that, she thought.

  
She looked around confusedly, “Was that someone’s…voice???? In my head?? Hello?”

  
“Scorpia!”

  
“AAUAH!” Scorpia immediately brought up her pinchers, her tail posed to strike.

  
“Force Captain!!”

  
Flustered she defaulted and stood at attention, “Mr. Hordak! Sir!”

  
“What? No, this is terry…”

  
She then realized the voice came from her intercom and she quickly readjusted herself before responding, “U-uh hello yes Force Captain Scorpia reporting in, what is it!”

  
She held the intercom closer to her face then usual and it responded with a loud screech and she yanked it away from her face, “The Force Captain briefing is starting now!”

  
Scorpia’s face contorts into confusion and she swipes up on her intercom, “but that’s not for another- what?!“

  
The time read about an hour past than what it should be, and she scratched the screen while responding, “well, uh, I’ll be on my way then” and promptly left, shaking her head and cracking it up to being just one of those days.

  
As she paced away golden eyes peered from the darkness of the ceiling and disappeared into it.

  
Back in Hordak’s lair Imp crawled through the vent he was hiding in and flew down to one of the armrests on the throne. He chirped at him, but Hordak was somewhere else. He had his arms crossed and was slightly slumped as he stared off into the distance, blinking occasionally, but seemingly not noticing the little creature there. Imp cocked his head but lifted his tail slowly so that he was eventually able to catch Hordak’s attention.

  
Hordak finally turned to acknowledge him and cleared his throat, “Well?” He simply said.

  
Hordak couldn’t help but notice almost a hesitation in his response before he opened his mouth to relay what he had found. Hordak froze when Scorpia mentioned, ‘hearing a voice’ and Imp promptly shut his mouth.

  
“Keep going” snapped Hordak, and Imp shook his head with fear in his eyes and Hordak laid his hand on the little creature’s head. "I need to figure out what is going on.”

  
Imp tilted his head to rub against Hordak’s hand, “there is something happening and I need to figure out what it is, please”

  
Imp chittered nervously but continued the recording and Hordak once again heard the sound that had prompted all this, Scorpia’s back coming into contact with his door. He listened to the rest of it, his other hand toying with the collar on his neck. As it ended Imp shut his mouth and stared at Hordak whom was lost in thought, continually rubbing on the space above his chest, near his collar bone. He swiftly stood up and Imp hovered before settling on the top of Hordak’s throne. Hordak paced and was lost in thought into what was happening. There was a surge of some kind, apparently not related to any storms. He checked his intercom and there were no new notifications regarding an attack or malfunction in equipment, other than Shadow Weaver rambling on about something. In the recording, apparently Scorpia heard something, and then she rushed away to her meeting, and she was late. He brought up his arm and scrolled through his intercom looking for the schedule for today. He then turned to ask Imp something.

“Imp, do you remember what time I made the recording for the lightning rod?” He looked up from his tablet and the little creature held one index finger up and the finger on the other hand slightly to the right next to it.

  
Hordak mumbled to himself, “So at about noon the incident occurred…and according to the schedule…the Force Captain report was due at 12:30….and she was right on time…

so then…”

  
He scrolled down and saw that apparently the Force Captain Meeting was not supposed to start until 4. Which must have been some sort of mistake, thought Hordak, but as he checked the time on his intercom it was actually 5 o’clock. So according to what he knew now, five hours passed from when the Force Captain arrived in the sanctum.

  
Hordak had managed to wander into his sleeping quarters, Imp following him, and he sat on his bed facing the mirror above his armoire. He looked at himself, and he appeared as confused and stressed as he thought he was, trying to figure out what this could be. Then he let out a huff of a sigh. This was ridiculous, he thought, there is nothing happening and nothing was wrong and everything was fine. This was fine, and he needed to calm down. He looked into his own eyes as he stood from his bed, it happened again.

  
_A Flash. This time there were cracks that encroached on his vision._

  
**_You want to know what I am?_**

  
** _ I am a clone !!!_ **

  
The light returned once more and he was brought to his knees with the intensity of it. Though as he soundlessly gasped, it wasn’t the shock of it and it wasn’t the light that brought him down, it was the pain. His breathing came in harsh gasps as he felt as if he had been shocked, and he weakly held on to his chest. He could hear the flutter and screech of imp as he panicked around Hordak, and he could feel his eyes burning as different images flashed quickly.

  
He couldn’t make sense of it, nor with the voices that came with it.

  
_Initiating first test. Here we go. Aha._

  
_ …_

  
_ Somethings wrong. I’m turning it off. **No, you fool. It’s going to blow-**_

  
_ Tada! I made you soup, soup always makes me feel better._

  
_ I like being friends with you, too._

  
When it ended and the last words faded from his mind, he was breathing heavily on the marble floor. He had broken out in a cold sweat and was clutching his chest with a single claw, talons digging into the tunic he wore. While the other had once again gripped the hallow between his hood and his chest. He opened his eyes to find Imp on top of his face, tiny hands holding on to the top of his hood.

  
He took a second and gently patted the imp and he gave him a look of great concern, Hordak gave him a look of solemn contempt before responding, “We are going to the lab.”


	2. Let your memory lead you; Open up, enter in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is something definitely wrong with this world, and Hordak is dedicated to finding the root of the problem, but is met with obstacles that threaten to tear him apart.  
-  
major warning! There is at the end of this chapter a scene that has references to past self harm, suicidal thoughts and behavior and abusive situations. I've never written a topic so serious before, so I was very hesitant of putting it in, but I think it's important I keep it in because it is important to the development of the plot. Anyways, if you decide to read it, thank you, and just keep in mine the seriousness of what is being written, thanks!

Hordak was absolutely sure he was out of his mind, he lost it somehow, in whatever was happening. 

He hurried through the halls with an urgency in each step, while checking every corner he turned to make sure that it was familiar, so that he was in fact going the right way. His hair kept on falling between his eyes and it was annoying him beyond belief. Imp followed him from within the vents, and he moved very quietly, every once in a while, Hordak would look up to see the familiar golden light shining within through vent grilles. They were making slow progress taking in the ever-increasing amount of times Hordak would double over as the flashes hit him, the good news was that he was getting used to them. The bad news was that they still came out of nowhere with nothing to obviously trigger them, but he pushed that thought away as during them he heard _her_.

He didn’t know who_ she_ was to be certain, but her voice made his heart flutter in a way he’s never felt before. He began to put together the little tidbits that he could hear and hypothesized that she was a scientist of some kind, and a friend. He was still confused and stressed out of his mind, but he held on to the hope that whomever that voice belonged to would be the key to figuring out what was going on. He stopped at the intersection of two hallways, nodding at two horde soldiers who were openly staring at him. He wondered for just a second if _she_ could be under one of those face masks. Would she even know him? Or him to her? Or was she just silently watching from the distance?

He shook his head to get the thoughts out of mind. He needed to focus on getting to the lab. He looked around to try and find one of the signature cracks in the wall that he knew was an indication that he was near horde soldier quarters. It was the midway point between the throne and his lab when going along this route. According to a report by shadow weaver one of the cadets had snuck in a pet from their homeland and it had wormed its way through the gaps in the ventilation. It had taken a month for them to get it out and had left a crack where it had tried to get through the walls. He was absolutely sure this was the place that it had been, and he knew it had to still be there because he had to lower infrastructure repair in the budget in order to limit costs. Then he turned to the soldiers, whom were standing at attention in his presence, as they should.

“Do either of you know where the crack is?”

“…Sir?”

Hordak growled, “The crack from the incident a couple months ago? It was from a creature that was let loose? Don’t you remember?”

Both of them shook their heads and Hordak released yet another annoyed sigh, “Fine, fine, it’s no matter. Can you direct me towards horde soldier quarters?”

Then they pointed in the direction he came from.

Hordak didn’t respond for a moment before pulling up the map on his transmitter, and somehow, they were right. From the direction he had come lay horde soldier quarters, then med bay, and then his lab. But that was impossible, and at that time there was another flash. He growled and a hand came up to his face to rub at his eyes and the soldiers froze in shock, when it ended, he was left blinking intensely and finally noticing their confused stares he roared at them to leave, and they quickly took off down the hall. When they were gone, he was left shaking his head as Imp peaked down from below a vent.

It seemed like a year ago when he left his room to initially go to the lab. He had opened the door to the throne room and had to stop himself as the hallway that had led directly to where he needed to go was now covered inch to inch with a solid wall. He had stared at it for an embarrassingly long amount of time before…remembering, that it had always been there.

But it hasn’t, had it?

He turned around to look at the empty space on the wall, and he knew for a fact that there was supposed to be a crack there. The terrible annoyance he experienced from what happened was seared into his mind too well, or was it? Maybe he was just imagining things? 

Though as he turned to go in the direction the soldiers had pointed him in, the question answered itself. Now that he actually thought about it and looked, it wasn’t just the wall in his throne room that had suddenly appeared, or the crack that disappeared, but also doors and other walls that were both missing and materializing in odd places. There were even windows that had appeared as well, and he would startle as the natural light that streamed from outside would catch him off guard. Whenever he experienced one of these anomalies, he would check the transmitter on his wrist. Yet it never shined any light to whether those objects were actually supposed to be there. It just simply displayed where the hall in front of him ended, and where another began. It made him wish he had grabbed the blueprints for the place, but then again, he had no idea where those could be either, his best guess was that they were stored somewhere haphazardly in his room.

Then he stopped and thought about it, and he couldn’t even remember the way he had left from his throne room. He traced the path back with his transmitter, and it only took one swipe to so, but there was a nagging feeling in his mind that made him believe that it couldn’t be that close. His feet had to have guided him farther than that, he thought, but that feeling disagreed with the data so he promptly shut it down. Instead, he decided to just hurry up and leave the map out, so there was then no possibility he could be looping around in circles.

After finally making this decision, he consulted the map and it indicated to make a right at the next intersection of hallways. Then as he made the turn, he caught sight of a horde solider, a force captain, whom was staring at one of the walls. He wondered…

_A Flash _

_You…_

As the flash ended, he felt like he was out of breath and leaned heavily against a wall, gasping for air. It was the quickest flash he’s experienced so far, but this time the voice was distinctly hostile. Those eyes, that _voice, _they filled him with such contempt and rage. He considered it for a moment but concluded that it wasn’t the same voice he had heard before. This new voice was filled with quantifiable malice, and he felt in the back of his mind, that whomever it belonged to was an enemy of some kind.

Though not just some enemy, he thought_, The_ enemy, like a _princess._

His head shot up to where it was bent towards the wall, to the spot where the captain had stood, but of course they were gone. The rage that had been building in him since the beginning of all this bubbled over and he slammed a fist against the wall he had been leaning against. Imp, whom had been perfectly content in following him through the vent shaft squeaked at the loudness and force of the sound.

Hordak took a moment to regain his composure and then rose up to his full height. Imp then opened the entrance of the vent shaft and peeked out once again, eyes widening at the sizeable dip that had formed in the wall. There also was an unfortunate horde soldier that was frozen in fear right behind Hordak, and the little creature made a motion with his hand for them to leave. The soldier catching the sight of the movement quickly turned around and hurried off. Hordak then turned his attention to Imp and his eyes had recessed into fiery slits.

“I grow _tired_ of these games.”

Imp waited for an order as Hordak stood broodily, his face was cast in shadows where he stood between the lights.

“I would send you after _whomever _that was, but with the way _walls seem to suddenly appear out of thin air_-”

He growled in-between his own thoughts, “it is not a risk worth taking, so lets just be on our way.”

Imp nodded and went to disappear into the vents again, but Hordak stopped him.

“Wait, I want you to fly alongside me.”

Imp’s tailed gave a flick as the little creature tilted his head in confusion, and Hordak explained, “I don’t want us to become separated.” He extended his arm in expectance, “Please.”

Imp blinked before complying, and then hopped onto his arm before launching into the air, hovering by Hordak’s side.

“We’ll attract more…unwanted attention, but it doesn’t really matter now. Let’s go.”

Imp moved away as Hordak stormed pass and ignored the concerned look that the little creature cast his way.

After that, the lights above him seemed to shine more distractedly as they dimmed and brightened as he passed. He then began to notice a throbbing pain starting to grow in the back of his head. All the commotion of today was sure to give him a migraine, and he dreaded the thought of it. Imp would sometimes chitter at the horde soldiers that they passed, and they all stood at attention in response to his presence. He would shoot them a glance, looking for a force captain pin or some indicator it was The Enemy he had glimpsed in the flash, but no soldier matched the description. Every so often too, the voices of his soldiers intermingling would ring around the halls and the echoes would merge and almost sound like The Scientist. The Enemy and The Scientist, perhaps they alluded him in every face that passed, or maybe they didn’t exist at all, and the previous thought of him losing his mind was becoming true.

The more time that passed, the more the latter seemed more a reasonable possibility.

Nonetheless, he continued, and despite having his map out and using it to navigate the twists and turns of the halls, the feeling that he was going in circles never went away. He developed a visceral hatred for that feeling. It made him feel as if he was caught in some maze rather than just traveling through his own domain. It was like he was a stranger, like he didn’t know the place anymore.

Maybe he never did.

-

According to the map he was almost there, but time stretched on and on, and he couldn’t tell how much had passed already. He began to notice that the quiet beat of imp’s wings matched the steady throb of the growing pain in his head. When he passed windows, he tried to look for any darkening signaling the single star setting west in the sky, but the same dreary scene seemed to appear each time. The swirl of the clouds and the occasional flash in the distance didn’t provide him a comfort like it had before.

He moved on.

He still hasn’t been able to figure out what has been happening, and the rage once again bubbles under the surface of his skin. Maybe this was some secret attack cultivated by those damned princesses, and they sent The Enemy to torture him or maybe they had somehow managed to pump the whole facility full of gas and he was just hallucinating the awkward way his troops regarded him as he went by. Though deep down, he knew this not to be true. He felt wrong in a way that dragged in his core through every step, like he was just pieces tied to a string, and not a fully functional being. It left a disgusting taste in the back of his mouth.

Even worse, every time that flash occurred, it took more and more out of him. Though strangely enough he never heard The Enemy’s voice again. For which he was at least a little thankful. Instead, however, in more instances now, there would be no voice accompanied with it. Just an empty flash that came from nowhere yet was everywhere. It slowed him down and muddled his brain, making him forget if he came from the hall on the right or left. He had to blink and rub his face sometimes as well as he swore when he would look to check the map on his intercom that it was changing too. He paused to take in a breath, as he felt his heart begin to beat faster than his liking. He closed his eyes to listen to the soft flaps of Imp beside him, and when he opened his eyes a door stood in front of him.

He immediately spun around, and Imp had to dodge away with a screech as he gave him an increasingly concerned look.

“But, what-?”

And then yet another flash occurred, and he was inside his laboratory.

He was absolutely baffled, and angry as well. He was actually beginning to think he understood the mechanics of what was going on, objects moving around, a flash then a vision then a voice, or sometimes just a flash. It was a pattern, but now, apparently, the flash had the ability to teleport him to another location. 

What the _hell_ was this? _Who_ was doing this? He cursed, repeatedly.

He felt his claws dig into his hands again as he squeezed his eyes shut and for the first time through this ordeal, felt true unrelenting fear.

Then he remembered Imp, and looked to where he was hovering beside him, giving him a bewildered look, like Hordak had _imagined_ that they were just teleported.

“_What_?” he snapped, “Do you have something to say?”

The little creature just chittered in response and flew to wait for him by the metal arms.

Whatever Imp was thinking didn’t really matter now, he thought. It’s time to do what he came here for. He strode to the data pad and hastily put in the access code, although his hands were shaking, he pretended not to notice. Meanwhile, Imp lounged on the top of a bookshelf, he had one hand behind his head, a leg bent, the other leg balanced on his other knee, and all while his tail swished below him. He cast Hordak a neutral look, with only one eye open, and gave him a thumbs up.

Hordak shook his head at the little creatures’ antics, but it provided him a small amount of comfort and got into the chamber. There was the sound of hydraulics as the metallic arms began to do their work. They took him apart piece by piece, and he tried intently to focus on calming his nerves. Despite this, he distinctly felt a bead of sweat trickle down his back. Once the last stubborn arm ripped out the last piece, he stepped out of the cylindrical pod and in front of a mirror.

His voice caught in his throat and his blood ran cold.

His knees buckled as he stood there, taking in what he saw, his eyes burned again like they did before. It was a punch to the gut on top of everything that had happened today. The flashes, the voices, the walls, doors, and windows appearing and disappearing, the paranoia and displacement he felt, and now…now this.

He continued to stare into his own eyes, but, the fire in them dampened and he felt something drip down from the ceiling above him. He broke his own stare and looked up at the ceiling, but there was nothing there. He then slowly reached a claw up to touch his face, he removed it and saw the wetness shine in the light on the pads below his talons. He’s seen Etherians cry, so knows what it is, but as he stares at his perfect nails, leading to his fingers, palm, connected to his perfect arm, and his _perfect_ body he imagines that it was just him melting, and in a second, he would be nothing more than a bubbling pool of goo.

This time, when _it_ flashed, he could feel it coming.

_The flash explodes in his vision as cracks extend from every which direction. _

_He sees himself as he truly is, the monster he is, covered in scars and holes._

_He is fragile and weak, gaunt looking, seemingly built with nothing but mistakes. _

When it ends his expression is cold and dead, the warmest thing being the red in his eyes. Tears track down below them and drip onto the bodice of something that shouldn’t _exist_. That he knows is not real. As the thought enters his head, his face contorts seemingly into slow motion, his claws curl into fists, and his talons sharply dig in half-moons as he smashes the mirror. He rages and rages and can barely hold back as he hits until there’s nothing but shards on the floor. He looks at the ground and stares at everything that is scattered around him. His tears are dripping all over the pieces. 

They almost look like stars.

Then Hordak remembers.

Then _E-01-24-T-135-A _remembers.

In Horde Prime, there were never room for mistakes. Every move was calculated and precise, and mistakes were only as good as the planets that they conquered. When E-01-24-T-135-A was younger, he remembered the scars not being as bad. He was healthier, but he knew who he was. He was always a mistake, a reject, something not meant to exist.

E-01-24-T-135-A reached to pick up one of the heavier shards, to just let it weigh in his hand.

He would throw himself into battles, pushing harder and harder at everything he did. He knew it was wearing him down, making his symptoms worse, but he didn’t care. He could not fail his brothers, he was ready to die, and his body would lie among the others, perfect and equal in every way.

Though E-01-24-T-135-A would always know it wasn’t true.

Deep, deep, down, it was never the pain that debilitated him, or the scars that it left. It was his asinine ability to feel. E-01-24-T-135-A’s brothers could lose arms, lose legs, and would just get them replaced. Though when he saw them suffering, he had empathy for them and wanted to help them, and worst of all he cared. They did not care, nothing mattered to them and it killed E-01-24-T-135-A on the inside to watch their empty expressions despite everything.

Worst of all was Horde Prime, whom never cared for him and felt even less than the rest. E-01-24-T-135-A would try his best to please him, but at the end of the day, he was just one clone out of millions. Horde Prime was ruthless, culling and unrelenting in his mission. He was a conqueror through and through, and in everything he was, E-01-24-T-135-A was not. E-01-24-T-135-A was angry and irrationally so, and he always cared on the thoughts of others. Whether it be through his brother’s approval in the past, or in the chances he gave his troops again and again, instead of immediately smiting them as Horde Prime would’ve. There was this, crushing, sense of entrapment that he felt in his own skin, day after day. He didn’t just feel the pain, he felt other things, things that did not matter, but only in the fact that they made him weak. Like fear, and especially the fear he felt now as the realization hit him that this empty husk, this perfect clone that he was now, was something he knew he didn’t want to be.

E-01-24-T-135-A, was a coward.

_Hordak_, was a coward. 

He tossed away the shard of glass away and the tears continued to leak down his face.

His ear twitched as he caught the sound of Imp hovering next to him. He swallowed deeply before turning to look down at the little creature, and it was looking him with round almost pleading eyes, it beckoned him with a finger.

Hordak let out a sigh and followed his command, “I’m sorry…” he said, and Imp took a tiny hand and smudged away his tears.

“I know I have been…angrier…today more than usual-”

Imp surprised him by giving him a hug right as he spoke, and he couldn’t help but attempt to hug back. Though Imp’s smallness was greatly accentuated by Hordak’s large hand, Hordak was careful to keep his grip fragile. 

After a beat, they separated and Hordak _really_ looked into Imp’s eyes. 

_A flash_

_Your armor is more of an exoskeleton now. _

_The tech compensating for your organic body. _

_…_

_What does it feel like?_

“Powerful.”

Hordak touches once again the center of his chest, right below his collarbone. He hasn’t actively touched the place on his skin for a while, too caught up in everything happening. Though the thought catches in his mind that despite finally being able to remember his past, this scientist whom seems to genuinely care about him still alludes his memory. As well as The Enemy. None of it made sense.

Maybe this was all a dream.

Hordak’s eyes refocused on Imp as he chittered at him and he spoke gently, “Make a note” The little creature blinked and open his mouth and Hordak spoke, “No more brown rations before bed.”

Imp closed his mouth and raised a single eyebrow, before rolling hus eyes and flying away. Hordak feels the flutter of a smile on his face for the first time that day and takes a moment to let out his breath and attempt to relax the stiffness of his shoulders. Though as his eyes wandered once again to the shards of glass still on the ground, a plan formed in his mind. First, he was going to remember The Kind Scientist from the flashes. Then, he was going to figure out a way to get to wherever she was.

He stood up and Imp flew around him in circles while sticking out his tongue. Hordak shook his head and chuckled before forgoing his armor, and merely wrapped a spare cloak around his shoulders. Then he went to leave through the door. As his hand lifted to press the button on the door control, there came a knock on the door. He froze and Imp flew into the vent above the entrance. Hordak waited a moment for the little creature to return and when Imp did, he stuck out his tongue and made an L with a single hand on his forehead. Knowing now who it was Hordak cooled his expression and unlocked the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For suicide prevention hotline: 1-800-273-8255  
Crisis text line: (american) text home to 741741 (686868 for canada, and 85258 for the UK)  
The Trevor Project (for LGBT+ youth): 1-866-488-7386, or Text START to 689678  
I just wanted to provide some numbers for any of you guys who may read this and might be struggling. I never ever want my work to hurt people, and I just want to make it clear that the message of this fic is of hope and perseverance. Even if it gets bad, there is always always always someone who loves and cares for you, and who will never stop fighting for you. Please don't forget that :), anyway I hope everyone enjoyed reading, please comment if you'd like, I love seeing how people view my work, and just thank you so much for just reading it once again. I'll update the fic next thursday as planned!  
P.S  
Also, like, I live in florida (In Tampa but still) and Hurricane? Dorian is headed right towards us, so I might lose power for a few days. I just wanted to let y'all know in case I'm delayed a couple of days, also if I have any readers in Florida, Please stay safe!  
-  
anyone have any guesses to who it might be?


	3. If you Find There, The Meaning of What Happiness is, Then a New Life Will Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's running out of time, but he's almost there. Will it be enough? Or will this be no more then a faint memory, from a dream within a dream?

“Shadow Weaver,” he simply said to the shadow on the wall.

“Master Hordak,” softly croaked Shadow Weaver, “I have been sending you messages for the last day and a half and no one has been able to get in to contact with…”

Shadow Weaver’s voice trailed off as Hordak’s eyes widened at the fact that it had been a day since…this all began, and he immediately checked him intercom. There indeed were many messages and the time read two o’clock the next _day_. Then he remembered what happened with Scorpia, and he put a hand to his head as a pang of pain erupted in the back of his skull.

Was time going faster?

Shadow Weaver was still going on, though there was a confused look that seemed to lay on the shadowed slits of her eyes. He then took a breath and returned to his cool composure, trying to not let on that something was wrong. As he focused on her once again, however, he noticed the red diamond on her forehead.

_A Flash _

_He saw himself, standing, though he looked different. He wore the same clothes he had in the flash before, the pink diamond shining on his collar. He looked happy. He looked proud. _

_There was some small person beside him, sitting on a pile of…hair? _

He came back with barely a gasp and was clutching the space on his chest again.

“_Master Hordak_…” Shadow weaver began again, but Hordak Interrupted.

“That’s a link to the…the…black garnet.”

And before he could say another word, there was another flash and he was there. He was standing in the doorway this time, and he gripped the frame as he tried to keep himself from collapsing. His cranium throbbed, and he rubbed at the nape of his neck feeling the tight tendons ache under his touch. He looked around and he is by himself and is utterly confused.

Suddenly he was filled with the horrible feeling that he had forgotten something.

He immediately closed his eyes trying to remember, damning his faulty memory. He was at…the lab. He was with someone, and he came here to find someone else. Who was he with, what was he looking for? He breaks out into a sweat once more as he sees the glow of his eyes reflected in the black garnet.

_Imp! _

He immediately pulls out his transmitter and scrolls and scrolls and his breathing gets more erratic as he cannot find the lab. What was happening, he thought, how could they just be gone? And why was it getting harder for him to remember?

He shakes himself out of his daze to step into the hall to whistle twice in quick succession. No response.

He was trying to calm himself down and think of solutions when he was startled out of his turmoil by a familiar if not concerned voice, “Uh, Hello Master Hordak, Sir”

She was poorly holding a large number of folders in her claws as she stood across from him.

He tensed up and did not respond immediately, “Woah, hey, are you alright?” then squinting, “Wait—wait are you _crying?” _

Hordak’s crumbling emotions morphed into stern confusion as he replied, “What? I am perfectly fine Force Captain-”

_Force captain. _

He quickly uses a sleeve to wipe away his eyes, cursing himself for _crying_ twice in one day, though it might’ve been a week passed for all he knows.

_Force…captain. _

Scorpia regarded him strangely, before saying, “Oh, well, um ok, but yknow if you ever need anyone to talk to-”

_Force…_

She stopped mid-way to catch a falling folder, “I’m always here”

_…f..orce._

Hordak slowly nodded and then closed his eyes quickly before opening them with a tilt of his head and asked, “Have you seen-

_…find her._

Shadow Weaver?”

Scorpia’s eyebrows furrowed,

“Who?”  


Hordak tensed hard enough to crush diamonds at that before responding incredulously, “_Shadow Weaver_. She uses your family’s Black Garnet-“

“OH! Right, yeah, Shadow Weaver! Oh I got it now oh ok, oh…oh that was weird, _really _weird,” then she said softly to herself, “Did I seriously just forget shadow weaver? Again? _What_?”

As Hordak watched her go through the motions, it was starting to come together, and he knew that he needed to go back to the room with the black garnet.

Hordak pressed the button open for the door leading into the room, and turned to Scorpia, “If you see her, just tell her I am looking for her.”

Scorpia snapped back into focus and said, “Yes Sir, Mr. Hordak!”

He went to go into the room, but paused for a moment and turned around, she was leaving to where she was going and he said, “Force captain-”

_Find her!_

-one more thing.”

She turned to him and he said, “Be careful. There is something going on, but I don’t know what it is yet, stay on your toes.”

Scorpia nodded and then said, “Ok, uh, thank you”

Then he promptly went into the room, and technically, shut the door in her face _again_. She wondered what had managed to upset her boss so much. Moreover, as she stood for another moment and thought, didn’t he have like, a little pet with him? Or something? But she shook her head and gave it no more attention and left to try and find Shadow Weaver.

-

In the black garnet room Hordak kneeled in front of the rock. It brightened the closer he got to it as a result of the shine in his eyes, and it was a harsh contrast from the green of the lights above him. Whatever was happening seems to be progressing, he thinks, and the only clues he has been getting has been the flashes, maybe if he could trigger the right one, he could figure out how to stop the degradation. He puts a single claw on the smooth crystalline surface and stares into the ragged reflection of himself. He focuses on his eyes, and he hates how he can feel it begin to happen.

_A flash _

_The black garnet is there, but it’s different. _

_He hears the sounds of battle all around him._

_He turns around and he’s in his throne room, looking through a camera._

_He sees the princesses attacking, and his troops responding as well as the horde bots _

_The bots_

He comes back and before his eyes could even adjust, he falls over as the ground seems to heave below him. With a gruff, he tries to sit up, but as the building continues its trembling it’s incredibly hard to do so. He puts both hands against the wall and digs his talons in to get a grip, and soon after that, it stops. He hears the sound of a light crashing down behind him and he startles, yanking his hands out of the wall and turning around, rubbing his eyes. He looks to find that he is now in a warehouse, though now a damaged one, where horde bots were kept. Somehow, the flash he just had brought him here, and now the building seems to be unstable. Maybe that was an attack of some sort? But why aren’t the alarms going off? He looked up at the ceiling and the alarm sat silently, giving no answers to his questions. He checked his transmitter for any messages, alerts, anything, but there was nothing. He hesitated for a second before taping on the map icon, and as he scrolled it was as he feared, the room he was just at was no longer there. He hoped that Scorpia hadn’t disappeared with it.

His face suddenly morphed into confusion and he spoke aloud, “Force captain…Scorpia.”

Did she ever say her name?

Then as he began to think about it, he could remember details about her. She had pincers, and a tail, and she had been struggling with holding folders of some sort.

Why was he able to remember her so clearly, unlike…instead of…the…

…Who?

Who, who…was he trying to remember?

His breathing was definitely erratic now, pumping desperately in and out of his chest. This was all so exhausting, the pain in his head kept pounding, and he can’t _remember _for the life of him who he was forgetting. He turned off his transmitter and started walking, aimlessly, further into the room. His face betrayed the speed of his thoughts and he looked up again. The warehouse he was in was a big area and he knew that wherever it was, it was far apart from the place where he used to be. Though the name of that place alluded him too, now. He looked up above him and there were cracks forming in the ceiling, and if he really focused, he could feel a continual tremor in the building, and hear a faint sound of crashing. He began to take another step, but two more flashes bombarded his vision and he fell before he could recover. He knew without a doubt that he had a migraine now. Also, that whatever was going on what getting exponentially worse. 

He was running out of time.

He struggled to stand up and rubbed the spot below his collar bone. When he looked around, his eyes met with the nearest Horde bot and he quickly moved towards it. He had come here for this, for some reason, maybe it held answers? He got on his knees in front of it and took in a deep breath, then stared at it. Maybe he needed to say something? No, no, he just needed to stare at it.

He could distinctly hear the crashes growing louder in the distance. 

_A flash _

_It was the same robot, but its center optical was shining a bright purple_

_Hi, a little wave from a little Etherian _

_Pigtails_

** _Get out, Get out now!_ **

He came back. That voice, the scientist! He remembered her! …Almost, the details of _her_ voice and appearance was starting to get easier and easier to focus on and remember, especially compared to the sound of his own voice, and to his joy he began to put together details of what she looked like. He had the sense that she had very long hair, and that it was special somehow.

The cracks on the ceilings started to connect from across the structure as the trembles became harder to notice. Outside in the hall from a distance a purplish light was approaching.

He took a deep breath and moved from his kneeling position to sit on the floor instead, his forehead creased with concentration. He moved his focus away from the pain in his head to try and concentrate on remembering.

_Scientist. Robot. Long Hair. Friend_.

A piece of the ceiling fell beside him, and the light in the hallway was getting close.

_Scientist. Robot. Long Hair. Friend._ Hordak knew her, he liked her. He cared for her and she didn’t hate him for it. She made the robot. How did she make it? She was so smart, she’d know how to get out of this mess.

_A flash._

_Everybody needs help sometimes. _

_And you shouldn’t be upset that you’re not perfect. _

_Take-_

_Emily _“Emily,” he said with a gasp, eyes still shut. There was no response from any of the bots. 

But _her_ bot’s name was Emily, and she was owned by The Scientist, and the name was on the tip of his tongue.

The light was in the warehouse, and it was falling apart, but Hordak almost had it all figured out.

A robot. A scientist. A person.

A..

Trap…

A..trap…?

_NO! Find her!_

Something was wrong, something went wrong. It’s what started all this. There was…a betrayal.

_Find! Her!_

She betrayed him.

_No! NO!_

But that _couldn’t be right. _

_Who was she?_

_No…I have to-_

He opened his eyes and they _burned_, the light was all around him. He froze, the light was headed towards him, and it wasn’t a flash. It was in the room _with_ him, _after _him. He needed to run, he needed to _go_. He needed to let go.

And then he sunk into the floor.

_Flashing_

He was falling, and his heart was in his chest. He was surrounded by sounds and voices, screams and silence. He tried to grab onto something, anything, but there was nothing. He was moving, but he was not and he knew he had a body, but he couldn’t feel it. There was someone watching him, and then he felt someone go past him, up. He tried to grab onto them but he only felt the brush of something, like feathers. As he started to fall apart, his memories all came back to him, and he saw it all. Every memory and every moment of his life flashed before his eyes. He saw things he thought he knew, Hordak Prime and the fright zone, and then he remembered _her._

_Flashing _

The scientist, her robot Emily, she helped him and was kind.

_Entrapta_

And he woke up.

And he was everything.

He was fighting, fighting, and fighting.

He was tied to a post, struggling. 

He drew back a bow, aiming. 

He held someone’s hand and gained power.

He held someone’s hand and was drained.

He had claws

He had claws?

He had a stun stick, heart covered in scars. 

He screamed in agony and fell, just wanting to see the stars. 

** _WAIT _ **

**-**

He melted away from himself, his wish came true, and he turned into a pool of goo. It was the organic material on his bodice and it melted from his bones, and they turned to dust. There was agony and the wind roared in his ears, he was dropping and frozen, yet rising and melting. Every atom split apart and became pixels on the screen. Skull and cross bones. 

He grew claws.

Find her…

_Find her …_

** _Found her …_ **

**He stared at himself, and it was like nothing he ever knew. There was a screen blinking with a threatening image. A Skull and Cross bones. There were fingers typing on a key board, and he looked at _her_**

** _She was beautiful_ **

**Is that really going to happen to the earth? He heard himself say**

**_She_ responded, but he couldn’t hear her**

**Then the world shifted around**

**He’s filled with fear, and there is so much going on. Pretty pigtails is arguing with Pretty Kitty. **

**No. I won’t. I need to tell Hordak. _He’ll _understand- _she_ says**

**Then _she_ lets out a horrifying scream, its bitten back because she’s being electrocuted. But it hurts. **

**It _hurts. _**

**He feels it reverberate through his skin, and for a moment there’s a split. **

**Intense rage and intense horror, then one again. **

**She’s hurt by Pretty Kitty. **

**And Pretty Kitty orders her sent away.**

**He hears himself say, _Beast Island!? You can’t do that!_**

**The Pretty Kitty disagrees, threatens him**

**He falls to his knees**

**He has talons **

**She has claws**

**He didn’t know what was happening, or where he was, or what he was, but all he wanted to do was scream, but his mouth didn’t open. Then he tried to move, but he was stuck, and then they split apart.**

**Shootshootshootshootno!!!_Find her_!!!**

**He only had one word in his mind as he melted away again, and he let it out in a soul-crushing scream.**

** “_ENTRAPTA!!”_**

** _-_ **

And then he was himself, heartbroken, the pink diamond on his neck. His ears were cast down, eyes burning, no emotion hidden while whispering her name under his breath, and he was pulled away, there was barely a hint of the memories of the world falling apart, but his eyebrows still pinched together.

_Find her…_

He was alone.

-

Within the room of the black garnet, the soft red glow that shone within the crystal gradually dissipated into the area where two large sets of claws hovered next to it. The lights on the ceiling flickered inconsistently, and one of the lamp bulbs hung from its socket.

_Remember your mission, Scorpia. Chided her mother. _

_You must poison the Horde from the inside and stop their evil before it infects the world. _

_You must make sure that you use the vial wisely, do not fail me, young one. _

Intermittently a shaking in the building could be felt, and it seemed to increase in magnitude as suddenly things turned deadly still. It was then that Scorpia woke with a start, landing back on her tail, and she let out a sharp hiss. She was breathing heavily trying to fill the air in her lungs as she slowly got up, she rubbed away the tears that fell with her shoulder. Then she kneeled down to gather the red sand that was carefully drawn around the red garnets radius. As she got the last bit of it back in the vial there was the sound of a sudden explosion and her head snapped to the sound. _Catra! _

She immediately placed the chain she had around her neck through the loop of the vials horn and tied it taut before tucking it underneath her Force Captain Uniform. A moment later when the building began trembling again the alarm restarted with it. The distant sound of chaos could be heard outside in the hall as horde soldiers ran to and fro. She knew it was time to go.

She looked back up towards the tall red crystal, and hoped that it was enough, before hurrying towards the exit and pressing the tracking beacon on her tablet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Doo doo doo doo! Hoped u liked the new chapter! blease comment down below ! if u did! or if u didn't! That's cool too! doo doo dooo dooo doo! Next chapter should be the thursday after next! Whats next thursday then? Oh its the final chapter for my other fic, Prom night, so uh yeah! I have a headache rn so im gonna go pass out but see u thursday after next ! Hope everyone has a great weekend and week! Yeet !

**Author's Note:**

> so I binged watched season 3 in one day before school started cause yeet, and entrapdak like....killed me. Now i am a zombie author bringing you angst and mystery from beyond the grave oooOoOoOoOO  
Anyway im gonna try my best to update this as much as I can, for once I actually have a plan on where I want to take this, and im pretty excited ! If you liked it please comment your thoughts ! You could write literally anything and it would supply me enough serotonin for a year, so thanks in advance for that. If your not feeling it absolutely no problem my dood, regardless I wish everyone who sees this a wonderful day and I hope that my writing has made you smile or happy or anything like that, cause like,,,,thats my main goal :,)  
-  
P.S I also like draw and are open for commissions so if you'd like to support me my insta is: https://www.instagram.com/daisyable  
-  
P.S. S  
Sorry if the format is a little wonky I have no idea what i am doing


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